I have spent more then 1/2 of my day watching my darling Mia on an internet tv screen that measures 5" x 4". I am currently obsessed with everything she is doing at day care. And since the screen is so darn small the only way I know that I am actually looking at her is that I know exactly what she is wearing. That, and I took an inventory of what every other kid was when I dropped her off this morning. I know I should say that I could recognize her little pea head in a mass of little pea heads…but seriously. The screen is small! But that in no way has stopped me from staring non-stop at it.
I should just go home.
Ugghhh…I just gophered (I can see my boss’ office if I stand on my tip toes and peer out of my cube) to see if my boss is still here.
He is.
Damn.
So close. I guess I will keep watching.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
16 Things
Things I don't like about work:
1. Not with Mia
2. Getting out of bed
3. Not getting to wear pj's, sweats or shorts.
4. Public bathrooms. People, please don't make noise when you are using a publicly shared restroom, it really freaks me out. And ALWAYS wash your hands - that is just lazy and gross.
5. Have to use comprehensive / complete sentences - no baby talk
6. Traffic / driving
7. Being on time - I am never on time....ughhhhhh
8. Having to actually work
Things I like about work:
1. Getting paid
2. Air conditioning
3. Did I mention the paycheck?
4. Social interaction
5. Lunch
6. Getting paid for staying home - thank you 4th of July holiday for falling on a Tuesday!
7. Playing hooky (see cute pictures of Mia at the beach....taken on a Monday!)
8. Sense of empowerment, accomplishment and use of brain
I threw that last one in just because I felt like I should. There is no great sense of achievement then watching your little one learn something new.
1. Not with Mia
2. Getting out of bed
3. Not getting to wear pj's, sweats or shorts.
4. Public bathrooms. People, please don't make noise when you are using a publicly shared restroom, it really freaks me out. And ALWAYS wash your hands - that is just lazy and gross.
5. Have to use comprehensive / complete sentences - no baby talk
6. Traffic / driving
7. Being on time - I am never on time....ughhhhhh
8. Having to actually work
Things I like about work:
1. Getting paid
2. Air conditioning
3. Did I mention the paycheck?
4. Social interaction
5. Lunch
6. Getting paid for staying home - thank you 4th of July holiday for falling on a Tuesday!
7. Playing hooky (see cute pictures of Mia at the beach....taken on a Monday!)
8. Sense of empowerment, accomplishment and use of brain
I threw that last one in just because I felt like I should. There is no great sense of achievement then watching your little one learn something new.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Undestroyed
Gosh, for the length of time that has passed since I last posted you would think that going back to work killed – well, that is a little harsh – how about, absolute destroyed me.
Well, it didn’t.
I had myself so freaked out about going back to work that the drama I had created in my head was 100 times worse than anything I have encountered since I have been back.
I don’t know if this makes me a bad Mom, but the transition back was not that difficult. (That is easy to say 6 months later.) I didn’t cry when I dropped Mia off at daycare. Though, I did cry driving there one day. Mia adjusted extremely well. She didn’t cry and to this day has only cried l a handful of times when I have left her. Mia is having a blast there and I feel that she is probably way more stimulated then she is when she is / was home with me. Napping together = not very stimulating.
The most difficult thing about returning to work has been the pure exhaustion. Mia has been a very easy baby. She started sleeping through the night at around 4 months and logs a solid 9-10 hours every night. I was never that tired during my 6 months of maternity leave. Sure, at first I was up every 1-2 hours but I didn’t mind at all. I actually enjoyed snuggling and breastfeeding her during the night. I fondly remember those times. But the exhaustion of work was something that I was not expecting. I no longer have time to during the day to do laundry, dishes, grocery shopping. All of those things need to get done outside of the 9-5. And after not seeing Mia all day the last thing I want to do during the precious hours that I have with her is chores. So I come home and spend the time until Mia goes to bed with Mia. We play, eat, bath, snuggle and laugh. It is my favorite time. Mia goes down by 9pm and that is when I start doing all of the things that need to be done. I do an obscene amount of dishes (read - bottles). And an equally obscene amount of pink and white laundry (read – not mine or Rich’s). And somewhere in-between that I try to spend time with my husband, with myself and with the tv/computer/magazine.
I miss Mia lots during the day but having her at the daycare center at work allows me to visit her when it gets really bad. And, I still have days where I spend more time watching her on camera then getting any work done.
But, all in all, we are all doing great and were not destroyed by any of it.
Well, it didn’t.
I had myself so freaked out about going back to work that the drama I had created in my head was 100 times worse than anything I have encountered since I have been back.
I don’t know if this makes me a bad Mom, but the transition back was not that difficult. (That is easy to say 6 months later.) I didn’t cry when I dropped Mia off at daycare. Though, I did cry driving there one day. Mia adjusted extremely well. She didn’t cry and to this day has only cried l a handful of times when I have left her. Mia is having a blast there and I feel that she is probably way more stimulated then she is when she is / was home with me. Napping together = not very stimulating.
The most difficult thing about returning to work has been the pure exhaustion. Mia has been a very easy baby. She started sleeping through the night at around 4 months and logs a solid 9-10 hours every night. I was never that tired during my 6 months of maternity leave. Sure, at first I was up every 1-2 hours but I didn’t mind at all. I actually enjoyed snuggling and breastfeeding her during the night. I fondly remember those times. But the exhaustion of work was something that I was not expecting. I no longer have time to during the day to do laundry, dishes, grocery shopping. All of those things need to get done outside of the 9-5. And after not seeing Mia all day the last thing I want to do during the precious hours that I have with her is chores. So I come home and spend the time until Mia goes to bed with Mia. We play, eat, bath, snuggle and laugh. It is my favorite time. Mia goes down by 9pm and that is when I start doing all of the things that need to be done. I do an obscene amount of dishes (read - bottles). And an equally obscene amount of pink and white laundry (read – not mine or Rich’s). And somewhere in-between that I try to spend time with my husband, with myself and with the tv/computer/magazine.
I miss Mia lots during the day but having her at the daycare center at work allows me to visit her when it gets really bad. And, I still have days where I spend more time watching her on camera then getting any work done.
But, all in all, we are all doing great and were not destroyed by any of it.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Obsession
I am obsessed with going back to work.
It is ruining the rest of the time that I still have off.
I cannot stop obsessing.
I am devastated with the fact that I am sending Mia to daycare. Even though millions of millions of women have done it before me….and even though millions of millions of children have not only survived, but thrived, at daycare.
It is not that I fear that something will happen to Mia while she is at daycare. It is not that I think the women who will be caring for her will not do an excellent job. (Of course not as good of a job as I would do, but a good job none the less.)
My fear lies in the fact that someone else will be getting Mia’s attention. I am the center of her universe and I love that role. I don’t want to share Mia! But in 2 weeks I will be allowing (and paying!) someone else to be the center of her world from 9-5, Monday – Friday.
I fear how much I am going to miss her. I still get up nightly to go and check on her. Not only to see if she is ok but also to just be in her presence. Just to be near her. Just to watch how peaceful she sleeps and how beautiful she looks.
And I fear someone else getting to see her firsts.
What if she starts walking at daycare?
She still has not rolled over. Is that going to happen while she is there? And what about crawling? Will she take her first little scoots in the presence of someone else? And teeth and words and laughs and that surprised look she gets when she discovers something new.
I might not be there.
And it is breaking my heart.
It is ruining the rest of the time that I still have off.
I cannot stop obsessing.
I am devastated with the fact that I am sending Mia to daycare. Even though millions of millions of women have done it before me….and even though millions of millions of children have not only survived, but thrived, at daycare.
It is not that I fear that something will happen to Mia while she is at daycare. It is not that I think the women who will be caring for her will not do an excellent job. (Of course not as good of a job as I would do, but a good job none the less.)
My fear lies in the fact that someone else will be getting Mia’s attention. I am the center of her universe and I love that role. I don’t want to share Mia! But in 2 weeks I will be allowing (and paying!) someone else to be the center of her world from 9-5, Monday – Friday.
I fear how much I am going to miss her. I still get up nightly to go and check on her. Not only to see if she is ok but also to just be in her presence. Just to be near her. Just to watch how peaceful she sleeps and how beautiful she looks.
And I fear someone else getting to see her firsts.
What if she starts walking at daycare?
She still has not rolled over. Is that going to happen while she is there? And what about crawling? Will she take her first little scoots in the presence of someone else? And teeth and words and laughs and that surprised look she gets when she discovers something new.
I might not be there.
And it is breaking my heart.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Peas
Sweet Peas
I call her Sweet Peas or Peas for short.
Rich snapped this picture because Mia looked so content sleeping with her favorite toy (Cheddar the horse - named by Rich, not Mia), the bobby and my pj top. She was in our bed (see that small space, that is where I was) with Mommy and Daddy.
All of her favorite things in one small, happy, warm space.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Oh Poop
While changing Mia’s diaper this morning I found myself thinking about how many times she had pee’d or pooped on me when she was a newborn. Not that is was just me she was expelling on. She got my husband numerous times and even a couple of nurses at the hospital.
We went thru a lot of diapers back then.
This morning, while we were going through our routine, I was so proud thinking that I knew her cues and could tell if she was going to try and catch me off guard. Besides her occasional peeing in the bath (which is totally understandable, water just does that to you) we had been doing pretty well.
But then we left the house.
How come the worse accidents always happen when you are away from home?
Rich and I were out running errands and had just pulled into the parking lot at Home Depot. I was pulling Mia out of her carseat and gave a sniff. She smelled a little poopy but nothing all too bad. I just figured I would change her while Rich took way too long looking for whatever it was that he needed. As I lifted her out of her carseat all hell broke lose.
Poop everywhere!
I don’t know if there was a lift / poop combination that made it all so bad but something definitely happened at just the perfect time. As I hugged her close to make the move from car to stroller my hand landed on her gushy little bum that had minutes before been covered in cute little sweatpants that said “pretty” on the bum. (She is only 5 months old, she can get away with this!) I have no idea what came out of my mouth but Rich looked at me and started laughing. I had poop on my hand and Mia had poop coming out of her left pant leg. Still laughing, Rich asked me if I just wanted to go home since he could tell I had a mess on my hands (literally). I told him there was no way I was going to put her back in her carseat like that and that I would just clean her up in the store. By now Rich was totally cracking up and he say “well, maybe you should look down before you decide”. I looked down to see split pea soup looking poop all the way down the front of my shirt. My sweat shirt and pants had also been victimized. It was way too funny. Little Mia was just cracking up since by now I was laughing along with Rich. When you are covered in poop this is just nothing you can do but laugh!
The funniest thing about all this was……
1. It was not the first time that Mia has ruined an outfit while were out. I have learned that it is easier to carry an extra ‘sleep and play’ (one of those one piece outfits with feet) then to carry a spare shirt, pants and socks. She always seems to get the socks. I felt like an awful Mom last time this happened and I ended up wheeling Mia though the mall pant-less and with no socks on her little feet. Yeah, I had first time Mom written all over me that day!
2. I had layered my t-shirts that morning. I never do that. So fortunately for me I was able to peel off the stinky top layer to a fresh tee underneath.
And
3. I was silly enough to think it had been a while since I had been pooped on.
We went thru a lot of diapers back then.
This morning, while we were going through our routine, I was so proud thinking that I knew her cues and could tell if she was going to try and catch me off guard. Besides her occasional peeing in the bath (which is totally understandable, water just does that to you) we had been doing pretty well.
But then we left the house.
How come the worse accidents always happen when you are away from home?
Rich and I were out running errands and had just pulled into the parking lot at Home Depot. I was pulling Mia out of her carseat and gave a sniff. She smelled a little poopy but nothing all too bad. I just figured I would change her while Rich took way too long looking for whatever it was that he needed. As I lifted her out of her carseat all hell broke lose.
Poop everywhere!
I don’t know if there was a lift / poop combination that made it all so bad but something definitely happened at just the perfect time. As I hugged her close to make the move from car to stroller my hand landed on her gushy little bum that had minutes before been covered in cute little sweatpants that said “pretty” on the bum. (She is only 5 months old, she can get away with this!) I have no idea what came out of my mouth but Rich looked at me and started laughing. I had poop on my hand and Mia had poop coming out of her left pant leg. Still laughing, Rich asked me if I just wanted to go home since he could tell I had a mess on my hands (literally). I told him there was no way I was going to put her back in her carseat like that and that I would just clean her up in the store. By now Rich was totally cracking up and he say “well, maybe you should look down before you decide”. I looked down to see split pea soup looking poop all the way down the front of my shirt. My sweat shirt and pants had also been victimized. It was way too funny. Little Mia was just cracking up since by now I was laughing along with Rich. When you are covered in poop this is just nothing you can do but laugh!
The funniest thing about all this was……
1. It was not the first time that Mia has ruined an outfit while were out. I have learned that it is easier to carry an extra ‘sleep and play’ (one of those one piece outfits with feet) then to carry a spare shirt, pants and socks. She always seems to get the socks. I felt like an awful Mom last time this happened and I ended up wheeling Mia though the mall pant-less and with no socks on her little feet. Yeah, I had first time Mom written all over me that day!
2. I had layered my t-shirts that morning. I never do that. So fortunately for me I was able to peel off the stinky top layer to a fresh tee underneath.
And
3. I was silly enough to think it had been a while since I had been pooped on.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Teeth
I think Mia has started teething.
Either that or she has some weird urge to chomp on everything that comes near her mouth (mostly my fingers) and can no longer hold in saliva.
I don't know how I will know if she is truly teething.
I asked my Mom, I asked the one friend that I have that also has kids.
They both said - "You will know".
I asked my pediatrician.
She said that drooling was the first sign of teething but that it could take months for a tooth to finally appear.
I researched on line.
I found out that she could have been born with teeth (early bloomer) or it could take a year (late bloomer) for teeth to come in.
So, I guess that once Mia starts wailing or the drooling/chewing gets significantly worse - I will know. Either that or I will be super lucky and one day my beautiful baby girl will open her mouth and there a tooth will be. Dreaming....I know!
Either that or she has some weird urge to chomp on everything that comes near her mouth (mostly my fingers) and can no longer hold in saliva.
I don't know how I will know if she is truly teething.
I asked my Mom, I asked the one friend that I have that also has kids.
They both said - "You will know".
I asked my pediatrician.
She said that drooling was the first sign of teething but that it could take months for a tooth to finally appear.
I researched on line.
I found out that she could have been born with teeth (early bloomer) or it could take a year (late bloomer) for teeth to come in.
So, I guess that once Mia starts wailing or the drooling/chewing gets significantly worse - I will know. Either that or I will be super lucky and one day my beautiful baby girl will open her mouth and there a tooth will be. Dreaming....I know!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
