How you doin'?

Every time I talk to my friends or family the first thing they ask is “how are you feeling?” I feel fine! I continue to sound redundant and tell them that I feel fine. It is nice to know that they keep asking because of concern on how I am doing.

In all honesty, I don’t feel that much different. I didn’t have any morning sickness, just slight nausea that only lasted for about a month. I was super tired in the beginning, but nothing that warranted any complaining, I just went to bed early and slept more then normal. My boobs have been sore from the beginning and this has not subsided at all. (I thought this was supposed to go away in the second trimester, but 2 weeks in and it is not letting up.) My boobs have not been unbound in 3 months. If they are not in a bra they are in a tank with a built in bra to sleep. The girls are only free in the shower and sometimes even that is too much! But when asked how I am feeling I don’t think it is appropriate to share this information. I know my friends are concerned for my well being but complaints about boob pain should probably be kept to myself!

So, after the initial shock that I was pregnant and that rough month (ok, maybe 2 months) of adjusting to not partying…not that much is different.

Physically I have been changing. My bra has gone up by one size. My pants by one size, two if I want to be comfortable. My shirt size hasn’t really changed except that I have started to wear looser tops as to hide my growing belly – lots of button downs at work; less cashmere sweaters (though I am sporting one today that my husband said looked good this morning). The bra and pant up a size combo is making me look much more filled out then before – hopefully in a sexy, curvy way!

Mentally I think I am doing ok. I still have 6 months to fully prepare for the impending changes that will come with parenthood, but on most days, this is not freaking me out. Since watching Birth Day Live I have completely avoided thinking about giving birth. I have pushed this fear way back into mental storage and have made a note not to review again until August. It is not going to do any good to obsess on this until then!

I had been warned to be prepared for hormonal out breaks. I am happy to say that I have not really experienced this – no more then usual PMS - except on those occasions that I am hungry. If I am hungry, I need to be fed ASAP. It is like I become a ravenous wild animal that has not eaten for days. I need food right away! So, if my husband says he is going to leave work in 10 minutes and he will pick me up the Boston Market that I am craving, but doesn’t leave in 10 minutes, but rather 45 minutes…not a good thing. This is the one time that I almost lost it. I was so hungry and really wanted chicken with creamed spinach on the side. Once I decided that this was what I wanted to/had to have, there was no substitute. I ended up throwing a little tantrum about how hungry I was and that it was not just me, but the fetus was hungry too. After knowing there was nothing that would make Boston Market appear before me except to wait, I calmed down. I also had sliced bananas in milk with splenda on top to help ease the monster that had temporarily taken over my body.

But, thinking about it now, I was like this before I got pregnant. My hubby knows that if I say I am hungry, food is needed before anything else.

I have a friend who reacts the same way when hungry. He went to his doctor who told him that this condition was caused by an increase in bilirubin levels. After hearing this, I looked it up to see if maybe I had the same problem and should go see my doctor. Maybe I could be treated for this. Or maybe I could get some nice medical documentation that I could show my husband that would explain my irrational behavior. All the while hoping that having some doctor jargon behind my hunger would help me get food faster in the future. Unfortunately I didn’t see “highly irritable when not fed” as one of the symptoms of increased bilirubin levels. I think I will tell my friend he needs a second opinion! But in the meantime, he takes comfort in blaming his mood swings on bilirubin.

I too, shall take comfort in the fact that I am eating for two to explain these unexplainable swings. I should be able to use this excuse for at least a year before my husband remembers that these outbreaks have nothing to do with me being pregnant!